Eating Elephants: An Antidote To Overwhelm

If you're feeling overwhelmed in eating disorder recovery, read this.

Q: “What is the best way to eat an elephant?”
A: “One bite at a time.”

Eating disorder recovery can sometimes feel like a massive, overwhelming task. Where do you even begin in tackling something so big, and so all-consuming?! This is where ‘eating elephants’ comes in. Not literally (although when reactive hunger hits it may feel that way), but metaphorically.

The best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. To clarify, the ‘elephant’ in this context refers to whatever big task is in front of you, and the ‘one bite at a time’ refers to breaking down the task (the ‘elephant’) into smaller, bite-sized chunks. In other words, when recovery feels massive and overwhelming and you don’t quite know where to begin, break it down and start somewhere. A good coach or therapist is someone who can help you do exactly this: break down the task and help create bite-sized goals you can work towards. An even better coach or therapist will ensure these goals aren’t too small either, because that will make this whole elephant-eating thing take forever, because if so, the elephant may grow faster than you can eat it. I said ‘one bite at a time’, not ‘one crumb at a time’!

(I’m a metaphor. Amalie loves metaphors.)

Semi-annually, I like to do a proper clean-out of my home. I, like so many of us, have a tendency to accumulate a lot of stuff I no longer need, which takes up space I really do need. Sometimes I put this task off longer than I should simply because it feels so massive and overwhelming. I’ve found that the only thing that takes me out of this deer-in-headlights reaction is to break the task down and start somewhere. For example, I start with the sock drawer and toss out any socks with holes in it that I’ve tried convincing myself I will wear, but absolutely won’t (life is too short for uncomfortable socks). It’s a small step, but I find that once I’ve gotten started, it’s so much easier to keep going to the next step, and suddenly I’m 10 steps in (and 10 socks short).

Socks on the floor, boxes everywhere, a pile of clothing on my bed… When doing my clean-out, my home will sometimes appear messier mid-clean-out than it was prior. This is exactly how recovery may feel like; worse before better. It can be tempting to stop midways, or to judge the end destination based on the journey. “I started recovery, why do I feel worse than I did during my ED? Recovery isn’t working!” is similar to “I started cleaning out my closet, why is my home messier than before I started? Clean-outs aren’t working!”. Of course it works, but you need to finish the journey you started in order to reach the end destination.

Recovery means clearing out the old and outdated which no longer serves you (the eating disorder), so you can have space for the new (life, meaning, purpose, YOU). It might feel a bit messy at first, but trust the process. Like Marie Kondo says, ‘does this spark joy’? Nobody ever said an ED is a great ‘joy-sparker’, and nobody ever regretted a good clean-out.

Eat that goddamn elephant. One bite at a time.